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Sunday, September 27, 2009
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Top 5 Reasons for having a Blog
1. It keeps me from buttonholing stangers on the street and telling them my opinions.
2. My therapist said I should keep a journal.
3. Doesn't everyone?
4. I have at least two friends who will read it. Occasionally.
5. It helps me to organize the ramblings of an incoherent mind.
2. My therapist said I should keep a journal.
3. Doesn't everyone?
4. I have at least two friends who will read it. Occasionally.
5. It helps me to organize the ramblings of an incoherent mind.
Mackenzie Phillips' Oprah BOMBSHELL: Reveals Family Secret, Sex With Her Father:
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/22/mackenzie-phillips-oprah_n_294479.html
As a former prosecutor who specialized in cases involving the sexual abuse of children, I am deeply saddened, but hardly shocked that people would be so critical of Mackenzie Phillips, a woman whose story has the "ring of truth" that that all investigators, prosecutors and ultimately juries, look for. The incest taboo is so strong that our society's first instinct is to hush--and then shame-- the victim, whose story makes us deeply uneasy. This response only drives an all too prevalent problem further underground, allowing thousands of monstrous criminals to operate with impunity in full daylight, while the children in their care suffer a nightmarish existence.
I would love the opportunity to argue Ms Philips case on her behalf. Yes, her father is dead--conveniently, some say, but it is a heart-wrenching fact that many incest survivors only come forward after the death of their abuser, not out of fear, but out of the absolutely unshakable love that all very young children feel toward their parents. Ironically, this love--and loyalty-- often remains especially strong among abused children whose yearning for genuine affection is never met. As a result, many of these children grow into adulthood with a mix of deeply distorted emotions about themselves and their abuser that are reflected and repeated in relationship after relationship.
John Philips admitted introducing his adolescent daughter to drugs, which not only provides evidence of his total unfitness as a parent, but which can also be indicative of the "grooming" or preparation of victims by sexual predators. He also stood by while his friend Mick Jagger had sex with a teenage Mackenzie, an act which is considered rape under the law for good reason.
Finally, I would ask you to consider Ms Philip's demeanor, something that jurors are allowed to do when judging the veracity of a witness. I'll bet, if you watch her on Oprah (and I won't--I have seen enough) that a life of pain is etched into her face and carried in her voice.
So Ms. Philips has written a book and stands to make a small monetary profit as the result of her abuse? I hoped that in some small way, it helps her to exorcise the demons that will never truly leave her. Rather than be scorned and condemned, she is to be commended for her bravery in using her private agony to cast light into a dark corner we would all rather turn away from. I know that if one child, male or female, sees her story on Oprah or Entertainment Tonight or anywhere else and as a result, has the courage to pick up the phone and call the police or tell a teacher, a neighbor or a trusted adult and whisper his or her own private horror, it will have been worth it.
Read more at: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/09/22/mackenzie-phillips-oprah_n_294479.html
As a former prosecutor who specialized in cases involving the sexual abuse of children, I am deeply saddened, but hardly shocked that people would be so critical of Mackenzie Phillips, a woman whose story has the "ring of truth" that that all investigators, prosecutors and ultimately juries, look for. The incest taboo is so strong that our society's first instinct is to hush--and then shame-- the victim, whose story makes us deeply uneasy. This response only drives an all too prevalent problem further underground, allowing thousands of monstrous criminals to operate with impunity in full daylight, while the children in their care suffer a nightmarish existence.
I would love the opportunity to argue Ms Philips case on her behalf. Yes, her father is dead--conveniently, some say, but it is a heart-wrenching fact that many incest survivors only come forward after the death of their abuser, not out of fear, but out of the absolutely unshakable love that all very young children feel toward their parents. Ironically, this love--and loyalty-- often remains especially strong among abused children whose yearning for genuine affection is never met. As a result, many of these children grow into adulthood with a mix of deeply distorted emotions about themselves and their abuser that are reflected and repeated in relationship after relationship.
John Philips admitted introducing his adolescent daughter to drugs, which not only provides evidence of his total unfitness as a parent, but which can also be indicative of the "grooming" or preparation of victims by sexual predators. He also stood by while his friend Mick Jagger had sex with a teenage Mackenzie, an act which is considered rape under the law for good reason.
Finally, I would ask you to consider Ms Philip's demeanor, something that jurors are allowed to do when judging the veracity of a witness. I'll bet, if you watch her on Oprah (and I won't--I have seen enough) that a life of pain is etched into her face and carried in her voice.
So Ms. Philips has written a book and stands to make a small monetary profit as the result of her abuse? I hoped that in some small way, it helps her to exorcise the demons that will never truly leave her. Rather than be scorned and condemned, she is to be commended for her bravery in using her private agony to cast light into a dark corner we would all rather turn away from. I know that if one child, male or female, sees her story on Oprah or Entertainment Tonight or anywhere else and as a result, has the courage to pick up the phone and call the police or tell a teacher, a neighbor or a trusted adult and whisper his or her own private horror, it will have been worth it.
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
SIGNS OF LIFE
What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
I have been avoiding this question for longer than I care to think about. Up until a year ago, I thought I had the answer: I was going to live out my life in Maine blissfully married to the man of my dreams and oh, yeah, I was going to figure out something else to do besides that, once I was firmly settled into my "new life." That future, already entered into, evaporated with a sudden and heartbreaking awakening that left me standing at the edge of a yawning void.
A year later, I'm still there, but a growing anticipation has slowly displaced much of the terror I used to feel. My life, defined a year ago by an ending so devastating that it encompassed and multiplied all the endings that preceded it and nearly devastated me, is now full of possibilities. I do, of course, have to accept certain accumulated limitations, something that is difficult to do when I feel well, but a crushing week of migraines puts me in my place. Despite that, there is simply so much that I want to do:
1) This blog is one of those things, although I am not yet certain what shape it will take. I doubt that more than three people will read it, but I am writing it mostly for my self, as a way to discipline and keep track of my thoughts. Part political commentary, part public diary, a place to share my favorite poetry and art…that’s as far as I have gotten.
2) I am finally inspired to really turn the little house, purchased last fall, into the home I really want to live in and share with my family and friends, which means really sorting through a basement and a garage stacked full of boxes.
3) It’s been 2 1/2 years since I have worked on any art at all. I am determined to get back to jewelry making and have researched a new medium—metal stamping— as well as a new material. I have taken a very short online class and plan to take a class at the Robert Rae Gallery here in Stoughton. I also plan to take a longer online course in mixed media collage, which I hope to use in my altered books. Of course, all of this entails cleaning out my study which is currently full of unpacked boxes ( see # 2, above). I also have a wonderful little studio attached to my garage…
3) I have become an advisor to a an old City Council colleague’s run for the County Board. She’s an excellent candidate, but, sadly, she is running against a dear friend of mine. I have also been appointed to the Stoughton Landmarks Commission, have been asked to head up a special project for some Stoughton merchants and perhaps become involved with the Arts Council again. Although I love this stuff, these obligations tend to snowball and I need to be very careful about becoming overcommitted.
4) Some small semblance of keeping my hand in the practice of law allows me to excercise my brain and do something I love. Although focus and concentration for extended periods of time are pretty much a thing of the past, I can still summarize briefs (I think). At least, I may give it a try again. My beloved friend Jeanne may give me some "piece work" that isn't terribly deadline dependent. Although she thinks that the quality of my work is excellent (it is a summary after all) I am hardly a reliable employee.
What am I going to do with the rest of my life?
I have been avoiding this question for longer than I care to think about. Up until a year ago, I thought I had the answer: I was going to live out my life in Maine blissfully married to the man of my dreams and oh, yeah, I was going to figure out something else to do besides that, once I was firmly settled into my "new life." That future, already entered into, evaporated with a sudden and heartbreaking awakening that left me standing at the edge of a yawning void.
A year later, I'm still there, but a growing anticipation has slowly displaced much of the terror I used to feel. My life, defined a year ago by an ending so devastating that it encompassed and multiplied all the endings that preceded it and nearly devastated me, is now full of possibilities. I do, of course, have to accept certain accumulated limitations, something that is difficult to do when I feel well, but a crushing week of migraines puts me in my place. Despite that, there is simply so much that I want to do:
1) This blog is one of those things, although I am not yet certain what shape it will take. I doubt that more than three people will read it, but I am writing it mostly for my self, as a way to discipline and keep track of my thoughts. Part political commentary, part public diary, a place to share my favorite poetry and art…that’s as far as I have gotten.
2) I am finally inspired to really turn the little house, purchased last fall, into the home I really want to live in and share with my family and friends, which means really sorting through a basement and a garage stacked full of boxes.
3) It’s been 2 1/2 years since I have worked on any art at all. I am determined to get back to jewelry making and have researched a new medium—metal stamping— as well as a new material. I have taken a very short online class and plan to take a class at the Robert Rae Gallery here in Stoughton. I also plan to take a longer online course in mixed media collage, which I hope to use in my altered books. Of course, all of this entails cleaning out my study which is currently full of unpacked boxes ( see # 2, above). I also have a wonderful little studio attached to my garage…
3) I have become an advisor to a an old City Council colleague’s run for the County Board. She’s an excellent candidate, but, sadly, she is running against a dear friend of mine. I have also been appointed to the Stoughton Landmarks Commission, have been asked to head up a special project for some Stoughton merchants and perhaps become involved with the Arts Council again. Although I love this stuff, these obligations tend to snowball and I need to be very careful about becoming overcommitted.
4) Some small semblance of keeping my hand in the practice of law allows me to excercise my brain and do something I love. Although focus and concentration for extended periods of time are pretty much a thing of the past, I can still summarize briefs (I think). At least, I may give it a try again. My beloved friend Jeanne may give me some "piece work" that isn't terribly deadline dependent. Although she thinks that the quality of my work is excellent (it is a summary after all) I am hardly a reliable employee.
Sunday, September 20, 2009
I didn't think that it was possible for me to think less of John Edwards, a man I used to greatly admire, until I read in today's Huffington post a story about the book proposal his former aide, Andrew Young, is shopping around. According to Young, Edwards told Rielle Hunter, his former mistress, that he would marry her in a rooftop ceremony in NYC, complete with the the Dave Mathews Band, once his wife Elizabeth was dead.
Lovely. Not only did this man have an affair and father a child out of wedlock while his wife, who was (and still is) battling a deadly reccurence of cancer stood by his side on the campaign trail, he was actually waiting for her to die, so he could he could have a fancy wedding with his chippie. Imagine the pillowtalk: "Yeah, baby, as soon as she's cold in the grave, we can call the caterer."
Lovely. Not only did this man have an affair and father a child out of wedlock while his wife, who was (and still is) battling a deadly reccurence of cancer stood by his side on the campaign trail, he was actually waiting for her to die, so he could he could have a fancy wedding with his chippie. Imagine the pillowtalk: "Yeah, baby, as soon as she's cold in the grave, we can call the caterer."
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